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Friday, May 2, 2008?
Everyday there will be plenty of thoughts that I will ponder on. So sometime you see me with a face that is so moody. You may see me laughing here and there with friends but when I am alone, is back to square 1. Hmm there is so much things I can write about.... The CG sing birthday song for me today. Dun really feel anything.. haiz.... but I saw her smile. KL talk about many things. And I feel every words that he say is directly to me. Yes is for the whole CG but I kana the most. I find myself feeling less happy as my age increase. In my own life, there is so much I had to go thru... in church is the same thing. How I wish there is someone there that I can share with and to be comfort. God is always there, I know cuz He will be my best friend always. But He sent me people. So the question is, where is the 1??

I suppose to have decide to go back to my ministry. But the authority refused to allow me to go back unless KL gave me an official green light. Is so funny right?? Most people don't want to commit to anything but I am the opposite. I want to serve but cannot. I go for CG, SVS. I also want to serve... is that so difficult?? I just want to do something that is out of devotion. Something that I love to do and I will find joy in. Is that so difficult. It seem everything that I do is ALL WRONG. What is a family? People always claim we are a family but the things that they say always don't consider the feeling of other people.

My Mum bought for me 張信哲 de new album. 張信哲 have been my idol for many years. I love his song because the song always sing out my feeling and emotion. In the new album, there is 1 song that really bring out my current emotion. The title is 最好的時光. "The best moment." I played it on the background music in my blog. How I wish I can sing to somebody. The "U" in the song can refer to many people. It can refer to her, the kids in my Playgp etc.... My best moment can only be happen in my dream thus far.... KL ask me what is my wish for my birthday? I mean what can I say after all the things had happen. 1st - Delay, 2nd - Pending, 3rd - Impossible?? Perhaps all I could ask is to be more happy ba.




Grace and Peace 11:12 PM